Happy Birthday!

It's the 19th of February and according to my calendar, I planned something for somebody today. It's his 21st birthday and he is my little brother. Well, I was kinda looking forward to this day until last night.

Very recently, I moved out of where I used to live with my brother and sister to find some peace so that I can continue studying without them making any noises in the background, no TV, no internet, just pure peace and quiet so I can get my act together and focus on the upcoming exam in May. Of course, I will still be using the internet for a few hours a day to update my blog, check my mail for new jobs and important stuff like tracking packages, and of course, to spend some talk time to my honey.

You may say that May is still a long way away, but it's not. It's just a couple of months away and I'm afraid that if I don't start getting serious, I'm gonna have to wait for another 6 months to be able to retake. And I have never failed anything academically yet, and I'm not about to start now. And I have no plans of retaking an exam I never wanted to take in the first place.

Anyway, a few days ago, I stumbled upon a thread in a local forum that I frequent and the thread starter posted for someone who was selling some cakes. I thought, This is perfect for my brother's 21st birthday. Well anyway, we live away from the parents and last year my parents actually forgot about his birthday. Nobody actually remembers except me. he even forgets his own birthday. And they say I'm insensitive. I just don't like acting all cheesy, that's all. So I contacted this person and asked her if it was ok if I pick up the cake at about 6 something in the evening, because I had review classes to go to and then I can go home right after. She obliges, so I have to keep my end of the deal. I'm going to go pick up the cake tonight and come home with it, even if my brother was mean to me for the whole time I was planning on surprising him.

What made him mean? Would you believe that he asked me to help pay for the internet bill when our dad has already sent him everything that he and my sister are going to need? He has all the money he's gonna need for the bills. That's what budgeting is about. It was like he was asking me for rent of using the internet, which by the way, the contract is under my name, so I can have it cancelled anytime. And he totally acts like we aren't family. Just last night, I knocked on their door because I forgot something and he opens up and was like, "What do you want?". Seriously, he makes me not wanna see my family again.

I moved out because I had to get away from him. I finally got my dad to let me retire from being a full-time mom and dad to my siblings and now it's my brother's turn to learn how to manage things. He has to go through the stuff that I endured for them. Budget what the parents give, pay the tuition, and save up as much as we can, pay the bills, run errands, be their maid for almost five years, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Right now, I'm making some small amount of money and I don't mind sharing at all, but asking me to pay up like a tenant and acting like I owe them something is a little bit too much. When I go to town to go to review school, he asks me to run errands for him. He says it's just a favor, but if I ask him to take out the trash, he's be like ok, then I still end up doing it. He never does anything that I ask him to do without getting me to at least yell at him.

so I decided that I'm getting out before my lifespan shortens any more. I could even feel hypertension creeping up on me sometimes. I'm just scared that if I stick around him any longer, I'd end up at the hospital from having too much heartache for caring too much about someone who never really cared about me.

Oh, and happy birthday to you too, Chris Rich.