After what seemed to be forever, I've finally realized that I have another blog to update, and this is not just because I wanna make some cash off of this baby, but because I wanna get back on track. I started this blog way in 2006, but never really added content until like mid-2007.
The original purpose of this blog was of course, like every other frustrated kid at the time, I wanted to have something where I could vent out, but I was always more comfortable with just an ordinary pen and paper and well, a pen and paper may be more comfortable, but it's not safe from the prying eyes of my siblings.
Now an online blog can be kept private even if it is ONLINE for everyone else to see. I've noticed that I've been holding back everything that I've wanted to pour out and was majorly concerned about what I wanted to write in the first place. I wanted to write about charities, I wanted to write about making money, I wanted to write about daily events, but then again, who would really care, right?
So then I came to realize that since I pretty much can't please everybody with whatever writing talent that I used to have, I'm just gonna write about anything I can think of. So looks like my random personality is about to surface! Why don't you guys check out my other blog, Miss Wilhelmina, for whatever you can find on there?
Well, I don't really puff, but I do like chilling out a lot. Maybe a little too much. At my workplace though, everybody seems to like puffing. I've met some people at work who said that they never puffed or smoked before they started working, but apparently, they can't help smoking anymore.
Oh well...
I just hope I don't get sucked into the black hole. Anyway, I got someone from work who got me into letting her borrow some cash since her baby caught pneumonia and was in the hospital, so out of a good heart, I let her borrow some cash, and what irked me was that, she's working and she's supposed to be sending some cash home to her mom and kid and then comes pay day, and she texted me telling me that she's looking for me so she can pay me. It was my rest day so I won't be going to work. The day I came to work, she couldn't pay me anymore because she says she lost her money. Guess what, she promises to pay back the following week because her mom's sending her cash.
What? I thought she was the one sending the cash...
Well, I started observing her from afar and I noticed that basically almost every week, she has a new shirt or a new pair of shoes, or she talks about eating out.
It's almost pay day again, and I am just waiting until she finally decides whether or not she tells me that she can't pay me back, or I may have to pull something to get her to pay me back.
Hmmm, maybe I should take her ATM and the pin number and just give it back to her after I take what she owes me.
I've been part of the Cebu Bloggers Society for a while now, but it's only been recently that we've started to move or do something. Haha, really, we were just a group into writing on the web space and now, we've found out that there's more to blogging than meets the eye. Since we've started being active, persay, a few of the members suggested that we have shirts printed out that would promote the group. And well, I love shirts. The more exclusive, the better. But I'm not that materialistic. I just like the thought that the Cebu bloggers are getting along together and that everyone seems to agree on common things. In short, we're moving together as one.
If you wanna see the design, you can hop over to Miong and Marquee. It's a pretty sweet design and well, I can't wait for my real-life friends to see me in it. Haha.
That is something that I can't do, since I have a full-time job and I don't have Internet at home anymore. Traffic has been sucky for this blog since I stopped updating in May.
Now I wonder, how do the full time bloggers get by everyday? What kind of investments do they have to make just to keep their traffic up? What is their ISP? Haha, still on the ISP issue.
In blogging, how many times a week do you have to update a blog, or is it even necessary to keep the blog updated every week? What is the purpose of blogging? Is it for monetary purposes, or just to vent out on cyberspace?
Is it for attention? What? I'm not totally sure, but I think I had answers to these questions roughly around a year ago. Now I'm just stumped. It would just seem like such a waste if I quit blogging now that I've been doing it for a year now.
So do you have answers for me?
Okay, so I have had just about enough of my internet service provider, Smartbro. I mean, up until June, it has been a pretty good ISP. I never had any problems connecting to the Internet, I couldn't even consider it as being slow. I was under the two-year lock-in period. But as soon as I got out of it, the Internet just suddenly started acting up and well, I was struck with intermittent connectivity. I don't think that just because I got out of the lock-in period, the service would start being sucky.
My internet would just come in and out. I was actually planning on upgrading my speed, but unfortunately, that would mean me leaving Smartbro and I would have to go with PLDT, Globe or Bayantel. Bayantel for me is still super expensive. And well, the raving complaints about PLDT and Globe's service is really disheartening.
Now, would I still wanna change from Smartbro to PLDT or Globe? If you are in the Labangon area, could you tell me how your Internet is doing?
It's been almost a year since I started publishing Google Ads. But it seems that publishing alone will not get me any money form Google. Sad. So sad.
For someone like me, seeing that my sites are earning $1.00 per day is already a good thing. But unfortunately, it really isn't a good thing. Ever since May this year, I have stopped doing write-ups, which means I have not been updating my sites, resulting in a huge drop for my traffic. Less traffic means you are not going to be making any money from your blog.
So I have decided to do some experiment. My brain is starting to get back in shape and so, I cannot wait until it's my day off so I can get back to work and make some moolah on my blogs. :D
I love the morning. I love the cold breeze everytime I walk out of the house. I love the feeling of the hot chicken noodle soup getting into my tummy.
Now that I'm done with all the love-its, let's get to the hate-its.
I hate not getting on a jeepney to work soon enough, I hate the traffic everytime the jeepney I'm on passes through Carbon. And I hate pushing myself to wake up when I just barely got into bed.
Truth is, I don't really mind waking up as early as my usual bedtime, all I want is to be able to get to bed early, and if I can, I just hope that I have undisturbed sleep.
Undisturbed sleep.
Again, this brings me to wanting my own room. If I have my own room, I'd be able to get enough sleep without the TV blaring, and I won't have to sense people walking around. I'm actually cool with sharing the room with my brother and my sister, but I just don't think having a computer, a laptop, a TV inside a room and your next door neighbor blasting their radio 24 hours a day can give me enough peace.
Let's see, this is about the 4th week of my employed life. On the first week of work, we were scheduled for the mid-shift, that's about 2PM-10PM. This continued until the second week. Right after the second week, the next stage of training started and we were scheduled for the last shift---10PM-6AM. We were happy that we were finally put in the last shift, since that meant more cash because of the benefits of working late at night. But then the trainer decided that we should be given the first shift. Can you just imagine the Hazard pay and Night Differential pay growing wings and leaving us?
Oh well, I guess we should just be contented with the week-long extra pay for now.
Actually, this post isn't the 100th post on this blog if I didn't move some of the content to the other blog. But I needed some content on there and well, this blog was getting too cluttered. I just had some hot noodles. Hot chicken noodles. Hot chicken noodle soup like the one below.
Wouldn't you want one too? :D Alright, I was kidding about having one like it. I just had some hot chicken instant noodles. You happy now? Hmph, bet you still wanted some, hahah. Anyway, it's about time that I got ready for work. Remember, I have to get out of here in about an hour. Tsk tsk. Oh work.
It's currently 3:45AM, no make that 3:46AM. Wondering why I'm up so early? It's because I have work at 6:00AM. Travel time to work is about 20 minutes if you have your own car, minus the traffic. But if it's a normal time and you have to commute, good luck in getting to work within 20 minutes. It usually takes me about an hour and a alf just to get there.
Anyway, I'm chillaxin' for now, just finished my breakfast and just staring at my other blog, Miss Wilhelmina. I'm actually still not done with editing the template, but I'm way too busy right now and *cough*mybirthday'scomingup*cough* on Monday, so I guess I'm gonna have to take things slow for now.
So I guess that's it for now. Oh and PS, for the Filipinos out there, Bamboo super rocks!
Some people have been wondering why this blog is called Chillaxin'. It's a word made up of two words: Chill and Relaxing. Basically, I like doing both. Hence, Chillaxin'. Actually, I do it more than anything else. So I guess you can call me a bum then. I'm a lazy person. Haha.
Anyway, a lot of Filipinos don't know what that means, but a lot also does. Unfortunately, almost everyone that I know don't know the word. Right now, I really shouldn't be chilling out and relaxing. I have big bad exams coming up in less than a week, man. But yeah, I'm supposed to be doing my laundry now, but someone beat me to the laundry area.
So here I am again, chillaxin'. I noticed that this blog finally got up from being unranked to getting PR0. Waaaa. Nothing to be happy about, but then again, it's better to see a PR0/10 than unranked. Let's just hope my talents are enough to help me pass the upcoming exam.
I'm so wrecked right now, I actually went back to nail-biting. Ew, gross. My right index finger's actually half its size now since February started. Oh well, it'll grow back anyways. I just need some suckers(lollipops) to keep my mouth busy after the exam.
Oh, and yeah, I forgot, it's time I shamelessly plug my other blog, Miss Wilhelmina, go ahead and click on the link already! :D
Yes, it's true. After slacking off on posting on my blog, I have come to a point where I must leave it in the air and just simply ignore it. Honestly, as much as I would love to keep on posting and posting and enhancing my writing skills, if I have any, I would do so. But right now is just not the time to indulge myself. I have to inject myself a HUGE dose of self-discipline and sacrifice what I love for something else that I don't like until next month.
To know more about what, just check out my entry at the other blog. This links you to Miss Wilhelmina. It's barely a few days old and I'm abandoning it so easily. It's got a bunch of personal stuff about me there, so check it out if you want to know why I'm going away.
I have a special favor to ask my readers also and I put it there. Thank you all.
I'll be back.
You might have noticed that my number of posts which have been increasing gradually has suddenly dropped. And for those who know me from a local forum might be wondering why I haven't posted so much lately. Errr, even my boyfriend could be wondering what I've been doing with my time recently.
Well, I'm on a break from my life. I've gone into seclution and the only way I'm posting is through typing on my Internet-less laptop, right after studying and before bedtime. And I just copy and paste my entries from a saved file. Of course, Saturdays are study break days for me still. I'm gonna be turning down writing gigs, because they require research, and research would require me to get on the Internet, and Internet possesses me to a point that I will be spending so long a time on there like 12 hours long, and my bf is on the Internet too, and as I told him long ago, he is my biggest distraction. Thing is, I'm easily distracted and end up procrastinating, which is something I don't like.
My first priority is studying for the upcoming board exam in May, and surprisingly, my lazy self hasn't been lazy anymore for a week now. And trust me, when I say lazy, I mean LAZY. BF is fine with me ignoring him for the moment, as long as he gets his "I Love You" videos, short clips of me just saying I Love You. Well, shows I don't forget about him even for a day.
Okay, readers (if I have any), I'll be back.
Well, since I moved out of the old room, I have been sleeping quite fairly. I used to sleep at 4, 5 or even 6 in the morning then wake up at 7, 8 or 9 in the morning. It was very tiring. Aside from having the insomnia, I couldn't keep myself away from the Internet, and my little brother wakes up at 4 in the morning to watch anime online, so I end up getting disturbed even if I go to sleep earlier. I'm a very light sleeper, so if something moves within the room, I wake up. Try talking to me when I'm sleeping and I will talk back like I'm still awake. And I'm fully conscious of what I'm saying too. So it's like being awake 24 hours a day still. Since I got into my new room all alone finally, my sleep has gotten better, from only getting 3 to 4 hours a day of sleep, I am now getting 6 to 8 hours of good undisturbed sleep.
And to think my parents wanted me to stay with my siblings in the other room. They never try to wake me up while I'm getting my very much needed sleep, but thing is, they don't have to do anything to wake me up. I wake up like I was having a nightmare when someone moves. In the old room, I used to have the blanket over my face just to block any light out, causing me to have shortness of breath while sleeping.
In my new room, even if I hear everybody passing on their way to the bathroom, I'm still fine with it, because sounds from outside can be blocked easier than inside. My light's always off during the dawn, because nobody wakes up to turn it on. So far, I have been very relaxed. I have nothing against siblings staying together in the same room, but for someone who has problems like me, I really need the undisturbed space. Sharing rooms is still good, especially for small children and budgeting people. I'm one of those who budget a lot, but I'm willing to pay for extra rent just to get my peace.
And now this entry must end. I have some Engineering Mathematics to master. Thanks for reading!
I'm a Cancer whose dominant planet is supposed to be the Moon. I don't know what that means but I have always been in love with the moon. It's probably because it's so silvery and I can stare at it unlike the Sun. When asked of what do I think of beautiful, I always think of the Moon.
But what's this I hear about a Total Lunar Eclipse happening? Let me look up what that really means according to Google definition:
Umm, so if the Moon will be covered by the Earth's shadow, how will you know that the Moon is in that precise place? I mean, the Moon is a big thing, but can you still see it? It's pretty obvious that I haven't seen a Lunar eclipse before, huh? I know Lunar eclipses happen a whole lot more than Solar eclipses and that they are safer to look at than the latter, but I at least wanna know what to expect and what time it's happening. So now, it's research time for me, and I will apparently increase Google's trend for lunar eclipses searches. :]
So my latest research says that this is going to be the last Lunar eclipse that I can see until 2010. Ummm, I've never ever seen a lunar eclipse before, but since this is going to be the last, I will be activating all the alarm clocks in the house just to see this baby.
This lunar eclipse is just like going to a celebrity-infused event, with cameo appearances by Saturn and the bright star Regulus. And to make it even more interesting, both will be appearing on either side of the moon, so I guess the middle part would be the unseen moon? Hahah, I'm so ignorant when it comes to Astronomy. I can't believe I even wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid.
Hmm, after some more reading, I finally find out that the lunar eclipse won't be "unseen". Instead it'll have a tinge of orange or red to it. I slightly remember having seen that happen before. So I guess I'm not so inexperienced with lunar eclipses.
What I want to know now is what time and when it's going to happen in Asia. But after some research, I still haven't found any information about it happening for people in Asia. I guess I'm not gonna be seeing Saturn then. Sad.
It's the 19th of February and according to my calendar, I planned something for somebody today. It's his 21st birthday and he is my little brother. Well, I was kinda looking forward to this day until last night.
Very recently, I moved out of where I used to live with my brother and sister to find some peace so that I can continue studying without them making any noises in the background, no TV, no internet, just pure peace and quiet so I can get my act together and focus on the upcoming exam in May. Of course, I will still be using the internet for a few hours a day to update my blog, check my mail for new jobs and important stuff like tracking packages, and of course, to spend some talk time to my honey.
You may say that May is still a long way away, but it's not. It's just a couple of months away and I'm afraid that if I don't start getting serious, I'm gonna have to wait for another 6 months to be able to retake. And I have never failed anything academically yet, and I'm not about to start now. And I have no plans of retaking an exam I never wanted to take in the first place.
Anyway, a few days ago, I stumbled upon a thread in a local forum that I frequent and the thread starter posted for someone who was selling some cakes. I thought, This is perfect for my brother's 21st birthday. Well anyway, we live away from the parents and last year my parents actually forgot about his birthday. Nobody actually remembers except me. he even forgets his own birthday. And they say I'm insensitive. I just don't like acting all cheesy, that's all. So I contacted this person and asked her if it was ok if I pick up the cake at about 6 something in the evening, because I had review classes to go to and then I can go home right after. She obliges, so I have to keep my end of the deal. I'm going to go pick up the cake tonight and come home with it, even if my brother was mean to me for the whole time I was planning on surprising him.
What made him mean? Would you believe that he asked me to help pay for the internet bill when our dad has already sent him everything that he and my sister are going to need? He has all the money he's gonna need for the bills. That's what budgeting is about. It was like he was asking me for rent of using the internet, which by the way, the contract is under my name, so I can have it cancelled anytime. And he totally acts like we aren't family. Just last night, I knocked on their door because I forgot something and he opens up and was like, "What do you want?". Seriously, he makes me not wanna see my family again.
I moved out because I had to get away from him. I finally got my dad to let me retire from being a full-time mom and dad to my siblings and now it's my brother's turn to learn how to manage things. He has to go through the stuff that I endured for them. Budget what the parents give, pay the tuition, and save up as much as we can, pay the bills, run errands, be their maid for almost five years, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Right now, I'm making some small amount of money and I don't mind sharing at all, but asking me to pay up like a tenant and acting like I owe them something is a little bit too much. When I go to town to go to review school, he asks me to run errands for him. He says it's just a favor, but if I ask him to take out the trash, he's be like ok, then I still end up doing it. He never does anything that I ask him to do without getting me to at least yell at him.
so I decided that I'm getting out before my lifespan shortens any more. I could even feel hypertension creeping up on me sometimes. I'm just scared that if I stick around him any longer, I'd end up at the hospital from having too much heartache for caring too much about someone who never really cared about me.
Oh, and happy birthday to you too, Chris Rich.
A business meeting has been gone to again and it ended approximately three and a half hours later. The meeting place was at a coffee shop, and since it was the first time I brought my laptop to such a place, I was kinda excited in finding out if my laptop was going to detect any wireless networks or not. I waited for my laptop to initialize first before the wireless network detector started flashing on the taskbar. Smiling, I opened the Network and sharing Center window and saw that my beloved laptop detected about six networks. I was like, "Oh happy day!", and clicked on the first network. As the browser loaded, it redirected me to a password-protected network. So I disconnected from that network and clicked on the next network. The second network wasn't protected from anything else, so I was very happy to get to use some free internet. Who wouldn't be? And the best part was that the internet wasn't at dial-up speed, but at broadband speed.
Anyway, if my friend blogger, Rodelio and I decide to continue our partnership in building from his business ideas and my web contributions, I bet we are a force to be reckoned with. We are definitely in this thing to succeed and get on our way to financial freedom, as his blog states. For now, we are still saving up for our future investments, and soon enough, we will be retiring even before are old and gray. We just hope the coffee shop that we plan on having more meetings at are gonna give us some free coffee while we're there. We sure can do very good advertising for them.
Being a blogger gives you an advantage of being able to speak up your mind, whether it's positive or negative, but of course as much as possible, we should all concentrate on the positive things in life. the more positive we are, the more successful we get. Our plans are currently on draft for now and we are looking for ways to invest the cheap way but gain a lot from that. Apparently, we are still at a learning process, but learning isn't such a bad thing, we have nothing to lose at this point but time and we do plan on gaining more than losing a lot.
Take a look at my current speed test from SpeedTest.net.
Like seriously, is that possible for a Smartbro Broadband Connection, whose advertised downloading speed is only 384kbps? I don't know what happened, but I am just happy that I actually got to experience this even for just an entire night. Hopefully it stays this way though. It has been a while since my last speed test, and when I did this, I just couldn't believe my eyes that I had to retest over and over again. Then I was convinced that the speed test was bogus or broken, so I looked for other speed testers, but the results were still the same, or just as close to the previous result. Well, let's hope this is permanent.
Thank you, Smartbro!
That is how I feel right now. I feel as if I'm living somebody else's life right now. Nobody really understands where I'm coming from. My little sister even says that I'm just trying to bring up "drama".
This all stems from being such an "obedient child". I'm the eldest among three siblings, I've already gotten myself two degrees, and I continue to play mom and dad to both my siblings who live with me. It's just unfair how my parents can't seem to understand that I get tired too. Let me tell part of the story of my life. Particularly the part when I just moved to Cebu.
I was 17 years old, and was starting on my third year in college. I was taking up Bachelor of Science in Computer Engineering at the time. I didn't have specific dreams. At the moment all I wanted to do was whatever peaked my interest. When I was younger, I wanted to be a doctor so badly. Then I wanted to be a musician or a singer. I used to play the piano when I was younger, and would still love to play it again if I were given a chance to do so. So why did I pick Computer Engineering instead of being a Doctor? I graduated from high school at 15 years old. I made a deal with my dad that if he let me leave my hometown to go to college, I would fulfill my dream of becoming a doctor. At 15, of course my father said no. And he wanted me to be something else too. He wanted me to be something that his friends thought would bring in the money when I started to work. My father always depended on everybody else's opinions except my own, because I was still too young to know what was right or wrong.
In 2004, my ex-boyfriend borrowed somebody's keyboard so that he can practice playing the instrument and perform at the mass that will be happening right before their Ringhop ceremony. That somebody eventually became a close friend, but nothing more. I was delighted to finally see a keyboard around myself again. I wanted to play it so bad. I told my ex about how I used to play the piano when I was still three years old. He asked me to show some proof. I had pictures of myself playing the piano, but he thought pictures are not proof enough. In the Philippines, you'd be lucky enough to even have a camera. And we didn't have a video camera. We were poor and my mom and dad had to save a lot just to get me that toy piano that I used to play all the time. And that piano is an actual piano with actual keys, not like the kind that when you press something on it, it starts to play something. So basically, my ex crushed my childhood dreams by saying, "You're lying, if you played the piano before, you'd never forget how to play it.". I was four turning five when I stopped playing. And I was 20 when he said that. My talent was never nurtured, how'd he expect me to play the keyboard without any practice for 15-16 years? I still remember the keys though, I just didn't remember what it felt like to play again. After he said that to me, I never wanted to even look at a piano anymore. Not until I heard two pieces that I used to play when I was still a young child. "Ten Little Indians" and "Oh My Darling, Clementine". I never really played the second one till the end, but I remember being able to play it. I'm just glad the ex is out of my life now, he brought nothing but pain just because I had a higher IQ and he was jealous because I learn stuff faster than he did. Anyway, he delighted when he'd see me fail. I didn't think he was the type to do that, until I found out that he was in fact leading a double-life, and I was the front.
Trust me, being used and having so much faith in a guy can almost get you to do something bad to yourself. Those who knew about what truly happened told me that it was admirable how much courage I showed, but to myself, I was just doing what's right, and what is supposed to be done. It's like an automatic response for me. I know what is right or wrong, but I would love to do something wrong just to prove to myself that I am still human and that I should at least be doing something to screw things up for myself.
High expectations, that's what everybody who knows me has for me. They don't expect me to say no, they don't expect me to screw up, they don't expect me to have problems, when the truth is that I just keep things to myself, because when I try to tell them something's wrong, they'll just dismiss it.
When I graduated from my second degree just October 2007, I felt like it wasn't such a big deal, but everybody was so impressed that I managed to go through two degrees without failing even once. That I'm worth so much right now, because I have two degrees. It doesn't matter if I have two degrees, I don't care if I have them or not. A few days after my graduation, my father made me feel so bad for talking back. I don't believe in talking back unless I know that I am right. I was ready to apologize, but he started telling me that I was being so disrespectful, that I can't scare him even if I tried leaving our family, that he has been working so hard and that what was I doing while I was away from them? He said that I wasn't being thankful that I was taking everything else for granted, that I was just doing what I wanted to do and nothing more. I was so angry at how unfair that was to my part. I never wanted a second degree. I wanted to stop a year before I was going to graduate again. But he convinced me to finish it. He always asked me to do what he wanted, because I was bright enough to do it, when he couldn't anymore.
I want some freedom. I love both my parents so very much, but I just think that I should be able to do my own decisions now and shouldn't care whether or not I will disappoint them. But thinking about it right now, I only need to wait three more months before I get my professional license(that's if I choose to pass the exam), and finally, I can start living my own life. But if they did try to live my life for me right after, then I'm afraid I would have to carry on my life without them until they realize that I am also a person that can think.
I feel like I'm somebody's puppet, that I just borrowed this life to live and that I'm not allowed to feel what I feel right now.
I love The Richness. Because of that small group of people, I got some exposure and became a webmaster. Well, I try to be a good one at least. So what do I do with those people and who are The Richness people?
The Richness is a fan club for American Idol Season 6's Chris Richardson. He's a hottie. Period. Haha. Anyways, I'm an administrator at their message boards and I'm seriously there everyday for at least a few hours. I like being there. I call that place a happy place, because it is. I made a lot of friends on that site and amazingly enough, we've been friends for almost a year now.
Check this place out if you're looking for the latest info on Chris Richardson and if you're interested in making more friends.
The Richness Forums
Let's see, what else do I do there? I serve as a Tech, I may not be as good as many Techs out there, but I'm pretty decent. And I love helping those peeps out. Whenever you get the urge to be less lonely, just check it out.
I've tried singing my lungs out, that always got me feeling better. I've tried working on the boards. the appreciation of everybody on there for all the work that I do for them make me feel very needed and happy. I've tried shopping, but I couldn't afford it. ARGH! I've tried watching TV to my heart's content. I've tried eating chocolates, cakes, everything that I've always loved eating. I've tried chatting with friends. I've tried getting my mind off of the "problem". But it feels as if nothing works.
I need a vacation. What do you all think? I wanna go back to that island where I ran away for 3 days and 2 nights. ARGH! I can't afford it right now! Why do I have to be so poor? ARGH!!!!
